Well, it's been a while! ;) I'm not at a point in my life where I'm able to schedule posts, so I'm just posting when I can, and right now that's about every 4-6 months. Haha!
Anyway, I did a poll on Instagram to gauge interest in me sharing my birth story on here, and there was a lot of good response, plus today is Eben's 6 month birthday, so I thought it would be as good a time as any to share...so here goes! :)
As many of you know, I was not planning a home birth at first. For the vast majority of my pregnancy, I was seeing a group of three midwives at one of my local hospitals. I had considered doing a home birth with future babies, but didn't want to do it with my first one. Fast forward to March 23, beginning of ridiculous hospital restrictions, general public panic, and lockdowns getting into full swing. I was 37 weeks along. That afternoon, I got an email from one of my midwives informing me that all three of them had been removed from labor and delivery.
I have NO. CLUE. what their reasoning was on that one. Anyway, basically I was going to be delivering with whatever random OB happened to be on call when I went into labor. Ok, disappointing, sure, but I can handle that. But. They further informed me that my husband could "probably" be with me during the birth (how magnanimous!) but would have to leave immediately as soon as I had the baby. ?!?!?! I called Luke at work and promptly burst into tears as I told him what had happened. That day, we decided to dig hard into researching a couple different midwives in the area, and see if any of them would be willing to take me on as a home birth client at a ridiculously late time in my pregnancy. Praise The Lord, they were willing to work with me, we had a generous financial gift given to us, and everything fell into place for me to give birth at home with a local midwife and her daughter!
All that was left was to wait...and wait, and wait. ;P I went through a TON of prodromal labor. Three weeks before my due date I had 6 hours of pretty hard contractions--they got to a minute long and 3 minutes apart...and then finally died out completely. A week later, same thing, almost 18 hours of on and off contractions, some getting very hard and close together, but eventually petering out. It was an INCREDIBLY frustrating and exhausting waiting period! I felt very well prepared for the actual labor, but all the false starts were getting to me physically and emotionally. My poor husband had so much to put up with during this time, as I did not handle it nearly as well as I should have! :(
Finally, my due date came (April 14). At 3 am, I woke up with some fluid leaking, and was extremely excited because I was hoping at some point my water would break so I could just GO INTO LABOR already! :'D I continued to leak slowly all morning, and at 1 pm my midwife, Sabrina, came to check things out. She asked if we wanted to keep waiting, or try some more hardcore induction methods. (I had been trying to self induce with literally every method I could find, for the past two weeks. I was walking between 3 and 4 miles per day, eating pineapple, I'd tried castor oil, you name it, I'd done it. ;P) I wholeheartedly voted yes to trying to induce. I was nervous that Eben was going to be huge and I'd need a hospital transfer, which I ABSOLUTELY didn't want under any circumstances!! She stripped my membranes and gave me some homeopathic things to take and instructions to follow to try to get things going. The rest of that day and all day Wednesday we kept on trying so hard. Sabrina told me if I got to 72 hours of my water having been ruptured, I'd need to go to the hospital. By 9 pm on April 15, we were up to 68 hours. I was getting desperate. FINALLY, at 10 pm, things started happening. I started noticing my contractions coming harder and closer together, and by 11:00, I told Luke I thought it was time to call Sabrina and have her come, as well as get my Mom on her way. (She lives about 2 hours away, and was just going to come and hang out in the other room to be around right afterwards.)
Sabrina and her daughter came and from the first I was so impressed with how quiet and non intrusive they were. They spoke with Luke in very quiet voices about how things had been going (I was already needing to breathe/vocalize some through contractions because they were pretty hard at that point.) They set up the birthing pool and after a while I got in. The water was SO nice!! It helped immensely as I worked through each contraction. Luke was such an incredible birth partner, reminding me quietly to breathe when I started to get overwhelmed and tense up with the pain.
Throughout the night, things stayed about the same. The water was wonderful, but also relaxed me so much that I had to get out and walk or do squats to keep the contractions going. That was NOT fun...I'm in labor, for goodness' sake, I don't feel like working out right now!!? :'D At about 5 am, things ground to a halt. Just stopped. After 7 hours of hard labor, my contractions were gone. I was beyond discouraged. Sabrina asked me what I'd done that was most effective at causing contractions, and I said it was castor oil, so she suggested I take a dose and we all lie down and rest for a bit while it kicked in. It felt so strange and defeating to go to bed at this point!! I grabbed about a half hour of sleep, then went to the kitchen for a drink. Luke came out of the bedroom and was talking to me, and all of a sudden I had a hard contraction, and knew I was going to throw up. :( He grabbed a bucket, and I heaved until I had nothing left. This was actually an encouraging sign for me, because I knew that it probably meant the contractions were going to start coming again stronger. They did indeed! For the next 5 hours, they steadily increased in intensity, though frequency was very up and down, and I was still having to force them to come by doing squats and/or walking. I threw up either three or four more times during this period...that time is honestly kind of hazy for me because I was so worn out from the pain and vomiting. Sabrina mostly stayed in the back bedroom, letting Luke and I be alone and work through my labor together, which I really appreciated. Finally at 11 am, Sabrina asked to check me. I was at 7.5 cm, 100% effaced. I got up from the couch (lying on my back during contractions was torture, literally the worst pain I've ever experienced...I spent the entirety of my labor in an upright position except for two contractions while Sabrina checked me or the baby)...she said that the next 2.5 cm should go a lot faster.
Did they ever!!
About 3 minutes after she checked me, the next contraction came. I was standing leaning over the banister of the stairs while Luke pushed on my hips to ease the pain, and suddenly there was a massive "pop" and a rush of fluid. I yelled to Sabrina that something had happened, and immediately felt the urge to push. My water had fully broken (finally!) and I had gone from 7.5 to 10 cm in less than 5 minutes. And so the hard part began. ;) I pushed for 2.5 hours. Hardest work EVER!!! I went back and forth from the birth pool to the toilet (having contractions on the toilet was SO hard and painful, but seemed to be more effective than when I was in the water, so I very reluctantly bore with it. ;)
During the final half hour, I was kneeling in the water, with Luke putting pressure on my back, and Sabrina and her daughter pushing on my hips on both sides. All three of them were pushing with all their weight during my contractions, and still I was wishing so much that I could have more. Three weeks after I had Eben, my hips were still bruised and sore from all the counter pressure they did! :'D I could not be more grateful for how strong and supportive Luke was during this time. He didn't leave my side except to get something to try to help me, or grab my water glass, etc. He was incredible! At 1 pm, I could finally start to feel progress and tell that baby was almost here! For about 5 pushes, he kept coming further out and then retreating back, which was kind of discouraging, but I knew this was probably helping me not to tear, so a blessing in disguise.
Even at this incredibly advanced stage of labor, my contractions were anywhere from 3 to 5 minutes apart. In fact, once his head was out, it was 5 minutes before the final contraction came that brought him the rest of the way!! I was so exhausted, I think I actually fell asleep in between birthing his head and his body. I'd been in labor for 15 1/2 hours at this point. At 1:30 pm, baby Eben Gray was born into his daddy's arms. I will never forget pulling him up and holding his tiny body against mine. All I could say was "Oh, baby, oh my sweet baby!!" Luke teared up as he wrapped his arms around us both and we just looked at our precious new member of the family. God was SO GOOD to bring Eben here safe and sound!!
Afterwards, I moved to the floor to birth the placenta and make sure everything was on track to begin healing...I had some tearing, but not bad enough to warrant stitching, thankfully! On the whole, I feel like I healed remarkably quickly and smoothly. (Besides the ridiculous amounts of sleep deprivation that followed. That was really really hard...all I wanted was to sleep for about three days solid after all that labor, but obviously that was not an option with a newborn! ;P) Every mother faces that, though, so I definitely gained a new respect for all that my own mom went through to birth and care for me! <3
To wrap things up, I'd just like to say a few things I loved about home birth, and why I would definitely do it again.
First off, it was quiet and I was in total control of the environment. I had the lights low and all the comforts of home readily available to me. There were no beeping monitors or nurses/doctors bustling in and out. There was no IV port in my arm or hand. It was just a gentle atmosphere all around, because it was home! I also loved that there was no pressure from my midwife in the area of vaccines or shots. I did not want those for my baby, and I know I probably would have had to fight for that choice if I'd been in the hospital. Lastly, my labor was focused around letting my body bring the baby here naturally and without being rushed or pressured. As long as I needed them, my midwives were here and available. Afterwards, they cleaned everything up, put laundry in, helped me shower and get settled in bed to rest and feed the baby, and made sure I got a good meal. It felt overall like a loving and personal experience, which is kind of the opposite of how I usually feel when in a hospital setting of any kind. I have become so fascinated with the natural birth process over the last year or so, and it amazes me how God has designed our bodies to bring our little ones into the world! Though I would never have chosen the circumstances of our switch to a home birth, I can confidently say that I am SO grateful for the experience we had, and I am excited and hopeful that it will work out to have any future babies God blesses us with at home as well.
I know I rambled on for a while there, but to be fair, you asked for it! ;P I hope you all are having a lovely fall! Until next time,
Mykaela
