What They Didn't Tell Me About Marriage

Well, would you look at that, I'm back again less than two months since I blogged last! ;) Today's topic is something I've had on my heart for quite a while, and debated with myself about sharing. But, as you can see, I've decided to go ahead and do it, so here we go!

Marriage. As young women we all have both preconceptions about it as well as a lot of voices of advice and thoughts on the subject clamoring for our attention. Especially after I got engaged, I heard SO many pieces of "wisdom" from sources of all types. Out of all these tidbits, I noticed a common thread. A statement I heard over and over from all different people.

"Marriage is hard!!"

Variations of this statement include referring to it as hard work, an uphill battle, or, my favorite, being told that "The honeymoon stage will wear off one of these days" like it's a painkiller currently sparing us from the agonizing reality that is married life. 

It's November of 2020, and we've now been married for over two years. I realize that is not very long compared to many, and some people will completely dismiss my statements in this post because I don't have enough marriage experience under my belt to qualify to say anything. Perhaps they are right. However, I can't help but think that maybe they are the ones missing out.

Maybe I'm living in a delusion, but if someone were to come up to me and ask how I would describe marriage, "hard" would NOT be one of the first adjectives to come to my mind! Are there hard moments? Sure. Is my life automatically a shining bed of roses just because I wear a band on my left hand? Nope. There have been times that a difficult conversation needed to be had, and part of me felt like avoiding that talk instead of working things through until we both felt that the issue was resolved. There have been times when sickness or stress at work made it a little more difficult to have grace with each other's shortcomings. But Luke and I live together. We share our lives, our meals, our bed...how and why would I willingly choose to live at odds with someone I have to see that often?! ;)

I am not writing this post as a marriage advice column, because I definitely don't feel qualified for that! However, I just want to share a few things that most people didn't emphasize to me when talking about married life. Things I share with you as encouragement and testimony to God's goodness and grace. 

They didn't tell me how incredible it is to have someone as your life partner, your team mate, someone who is always in your corner, so to speak. Someone who is willing to help you get back up when you stumble, forgive and extend grace when you need it, and encourage your heart when you're down.

They didn't tell me how many hundreds of ways marriage could teach me about my Saviour. The parallels and examples I would see through the relationship that my husband and I share.

They didn't tell me the joy that would come after pushing through and having that hard conversation or apologizing when I'm wrong even when it felt uncomfortable and took some humility.

They didn't tell me the fulfillment I'd experience through choosing to cherish another person, finding new ways to make their heart rejoice, and loving them more deeply every day...yes, even after the "honeymoon phase" is past. Side note: That phrase still kind of bugs me because you can act like newlyweds whether you've been married for 5 minutes or 50 years. Letting the romance die is not something that just happens automatically once you've been married for a few years and had kids. 

They didn't tell me what a gift it would be to be able to serve my husband when he needs me. Obviously I hate it when he's sick or hurting, but being able to give him the comfort and support he needs during those times is so precious to me! 

They didn't tell me that the physical relationship within marriage is, in my opinion, as close to heaven on earth as it gets. Yes, I said that. ;)

They didn't tell me how much more deeply I'd love my husband now than the day we got married. How seeing him play with our son would melt my heart. How wonderful waking up next to my best friend would be...not just the first one or two times, but hundreds of days in. 

I don't want to put marriage on a higher pedestal than it belongs. In no way am I saying that marriage is the be all end all of life and if you're single you have a sorry existence. I'm not saying that AT ALL. But I feel like way too many people talk down about marriage, and to put it bluntly, I'm really sick of hearing it. I'm tired of seeing young women get married, put little to no effort into their own attitudes, thoughts, and actions, and then blame their husband when marriage isn't as sparkly and perfect as they had hoped. If you are placing responsibility for your heart attitudes onto your husband, of COURSE your marriage will suffer! As will your spiritual walk, your church life, and your day to day living...your husband cannot ever take the place of God.

To sum up, what I'm saying is that marriage can be good. Really, really good. And I truly feel sorry for all those who can only describe it as "hard", because I don't believe it has to be. Through God's grace and help, it can be glorious. 

Mykaela

My Natural Home Birth Story

 

Well, it's been a while! ;) I'm not at a point in my life where I'm able to schedule posts, so I'm just posting when I can, and right now that's about every 4-6 months. Haha!

Anyway, I did a poll on Instagram to gauge interest in me sharing my birth story on here, and there was a lot of good response, plus today is Eben's 6 month birthday, so I thought it would be as good a time as any to share...so here goes! :)

As many of you know, I was not planning a home birth at first. For the vast majority of my pregnancy, I was seeing a group of three midwives at one of my local hospitals. I had considered doing a home birth with future babies, but didn't want to do it with my first one. Fast forward to March 23, beginning of ridiculous hospital restrictions, general public panic, and lockdowns getting into full swing. I was 37 weeks along. That afternoon, I got an email from one of my midwives informing me that all three of them had been removed from labor and delivery.

I have NO. CLUE. what their reasoning was on that one. Anyway, basically I was going to be delivering with whatever random OB happened to be on call when I went into labor. Ok, disappointing, sure, but I can handle that. But. They further informed me that my husband could "probably" be with me during the birth (how magnanimous!) but would have to leave immediately as soon as I had the baby. ?!?!?! I called Luke at work and promptly burst into tears as I told him what had happened. That day, we decided to dig hard into researching a couple different midwives in the area, and see if any of them would be willing to take me on as a home birth client at a ridiculously late time in my pregnancy. Praise The Lord, they were willing to work with me, we had a generous financial gift given to us, and everything fell into place for me to give birth at home with a local midwife and her daughter!

All that was left was to wait...and wait, and wait. ;P I went through a TON of prodromal labor. Three weeks before my due date I had 6 hours of pretty hard contractions--they got to a minute long and 3 minutes apart...and then finally died out completely. A week later, same thing, almost 18 hours of on and off contractions, some getting very hard and close together, but eventually petering out. It was an INCREDIBLY frustrating and exhausting waiting period! I felt very well prepared for the actual labor, but all the false starts were getting to me physically and emotionally. My poor husband had so much to put up with during this time, as I did not handle it nearly as well as I should have! :(

Finally, my due date came (April 14). At 3 am, I woke up with some fluid leaking, and was extremely excited because I was hoping at some point my water would break so I could just GO INTO LABOR already! :'D I continued to leak slowly all morning, and at 1 pm my midwife, Sabrina, came to check things out. She asked if we wanted to keep waiting, or try some more hardcore induction methods. (I had been trying to self induce with literally every method I could find, for the past two weeks. I was walking between 3 and 4 miles per day, eating pineapple, I'd tried castor oil, you name it, I'd done it. ;P) I wholeheartedly voted yes to trying to induce. I was nervous that Eben was going to be huge and I'd need a hospital transfer, which I ABSOLUTELY didn't want under any circumstances!! She stripped my membranes and gave me some homeopathic things to take and instructions to follow to try to get things going. The rest of that day and all day Wednesday we kept on trying so hard. Sabrina told me if I got to 72 hours of my water having been ruptured, I'd need to go to the hospital. By 9 pm on April 15, we were up to 68 hours. I was getting desperate. FINALLY, at 10 pm, things started happening. I started noticing my contractions coming harder and closer together, and by 11:00, I told Luke I thought it was time to call Sabrina and have her come, as well as get my Mom on her way. (She lives about 2 hours away, and was just going to come and hang out in the other room to be around right afterwards.)

Sabrina and her daughter came and from the first I was so impressed with how quiet and non intrusive they were. They spoke with Luke in very quiet voices about how things had been going (I was already needing to breathe/vocalize some through contractions because they were pretty hard at that point.) They set up the birthing pool and after a while I got in. The water was SO nice!! It helped immensely as I worked through each contraction. Luke was such an incredible birth partner, reminding me quietly to breathe when I started to get overwhelmed and tense up with the pain. 

Throughout the night, things stayed about the same. The water was wonderful, but also relaxed me so much that I had to get out and walk or do squats to keep the contractions going. That was NOT fun...I'm in labor, for goodness' sake, I don't feel like working out right now!!? :'D At about 5 am, things ground to a halt. Just stopped. After 7 hours of hard labor, my contractions were gone. I was beyond discouraged. Sabrina asked me what I'd done that was most effective at causing contractions, and I said it was castor oil, so she suggested I take a dose and we all lie down and rest for a bit while it kicked in. It felt so strange and defeating to go to bed at this point!! I grabbed about a half hour of sleep, then went to the kitchen for a drink. Luke came out of the bedroom and was talking to me, and all of a sudden I had a hard contraction, and knew I was going to throw up. :( He grabbed a bucket, and I heaved until I had nothing left. This was actually an encouraging sign for me, because I knew that it probably meant the contractions were going to start coming again stronger. They did indeed! For the next 5 hours, they steadily increased in intensity, though frequency was very up and down, and I was still having to force them to come by doing squats and/or walking. I threw up either three or four more times during this period...that time is honestly kind of hazy for me because I was so worn out from the pain and vomiting. Sabrina mostly stayed in the back bedroom, letting Luke and I be alone and work through my labor together, which I really appreciated. Finally at 11 am, Sabrina asked to check me. I was at 7.5 cm, 100% effaced. I got up from the couch (lying on my back during contractions was torture, literally the worst pain I've ever experienced...I spent the entirety of my labor in an upright position except for two contractions while Sabrina checked me or the baby)...she said that the next 2.5 cm should go a lot faster.

Did they ever!!

About 3 minutes after she checked me, the next contraction came. I was standing leaning over the banister of the stairs while Luke pushed on my hips to ease the pain, and suddenly there was a massive "pop" and a rush of fluid. I yelled to Sabrina that something had happened, and immediately felt the urge to push. My water had fully broken (finally!) and I had gone from 7.5 to 10 cm in less than 5 minutes. And so the hard part began. ;) I pushed for 2.5 hours. Hardest work EVER!!! I went back and forth from the birth pool to the toilet (having contractions on the toilet was SO hard and painful, but seemed to be more effective than when I was in the water, so I very reluctantly bore with it. ;) 

During the final half hour, I was kneeling in the water, with Luke putting pressure on my back, and Sabrina and her daughter pushing on my hips on both sides. All three of them were pushing with all their weight during my contractions, and still I was wishing so much that I could have more. Three weeks after I had Eben, my hips were still bruised and sore from all the counter pressure they did! :'D I could not be more grateful for how strong and supportive Luke was during this time. He didn't leave my side except to get something to try to help me, or grab my water glass, etc. He was incredible! At 1 pm, I could finally start to feel progress and tell that baby was almost here! For about 5 pushes, he kept coming further out and then retreating back, which was kind of discouraging, but I knew this was probably helping me not to tear, so a blessing in disguise. 

Even at this incredibly advanced stage of labor, my contractions were anywhere from 3 to 5 minutes apart. In fact, once his head was out, it was 5 minutes before the final contraction came that brought him the rest of the way!! I was so exhausted, I think I actually fell asleep in between birthing his head and his body. I'd been in labor for 15 1/2 hours at this point. At 1:30 pm, baby Eben Gray was born into his daddy's arms. I will never forget pulling him up and holding his tiny body against mine. All I could say was "Oh, baby, oh my sweet baby!!" Luke teared up as he wrapped his arms around us both and we just looked at our precious new member of the family. God was SO GOOD to bring Eben here safe and sound!!

Afterwards, I moved to the floor to birth the placenta and make sure everything was on track to begin healing...I had some tearing, but not bad enough to warrant stitching, thankfully! On the whole, I feel like I healed remarkably quickly and smoothly. (Besides the ridiculous amounts of sleep deprivation that followed. That was really really hard...all I wanted was to sleep for about three days solid after all that labor, but obviously that was not an option with a newborn! ;P) Every mother faces that, though, so I definitely gained a new respect for all that my own mom went through to birth and care for me! <3 

To wrap things up, I'd just like to say a few things I loved about home birth, and why I would definitely do it again. 

First off, it was quiet and I was in total control of the environment. I had the lights low and all the comforts of home readily available to me. There were no beeping monitors or nurses/doctors bustling in and out. There was no IV port in my arm or hand. It was just a gentle atmosphere all around, because it was home! I also loved that there was no pressure from my midwife in the area of vaccines or shots. I did not want those for my baby, and I know I probably would have had to fight for that choice if I'd been in the hospital. Lastly, my labor was focused around letting my body bring the baby here naturally and without being rushed or pressured. As long as I needed them, my midwives were here and available. Afterwards, they cleaned everything up, put laundry in, helped me shower and get settled in bed to rest and feed the baby, and made sure I got a good meal. It felt overall like a loving and personal experience, which is kind of the opposite of how I usually feel when in a hospital setting of any kind. I have become so fascinated with the natural birth process over the last year or so, and it amazes me how God has designed our bodies to bring our little ones into the world! Though I would never have chosen the circumstances of our switch to a home birth, I can confidently say that I am SO grateful for the experience we had, and I am excited and hopeful that it will work out to have any future babies God blesses us with at home as well.


I know I rambled on for a while there, but to be fair, you asked for it! ;P I hope you all are having a lovely fall! Until next time,

Mykaela

Long Overdue Announcement...!

Hello, friends!
Wow...so much has happened since I last posted!!

As I'm sure most of you have guessed by now, we had our little boy join the family. :) Eben Gray was born on April 16 (How is he already a month old?!) at 1:30 p.m. He weighed 7lb, 10 oz...not so big as we expected considering that he was 2 days late and I was approximately the size of a tanker truck! ;P His name is pronounced just like "even" but with a B.

Due to the COVID craziness, we actually ended up switching our birth plan from midwife assisted hospital birth to home birth at 37 weeks along. This was a pretty drastic decision to make so late in the game, but it was made easier by the fact that I would potentially have had to give birth without my husband if we had stuck with going to the hospital!! That wasn't something I even wanted to consider. I couldn't imagine having Luke miss such a precious event as the birth of our first child! (I also couldn't imagine going through labor without his support!)

As difficult as the circumstances of the switch were, I honestly am so thankful we did a home birth. It was such a calm and non invasive experience compared to the hospital. We had all the comforts of our own home, complete control over the environment, no beeping monitors or bright lights or people coming in and out...all around it was just a sweet experience. Plus, I got to do a water birth, which I wanted all along, but our hospital didn't allow, so I had given up on that idea. While our midwife was here and available for us throughout the labor, she mostly just stayed in another room within earshot and let Luke and I be alone as we went through the hard work of bringing Eben into the world together.

I was in hard labor for 15 1/2 hours, with 2 1/2 hours of pushing time. It was so, so difficult and exhausting, but obviously very worth it for our sweet little man! Luke was SUCH an incredible help and comfort to me through all the long hours of pain. He stayed by my side every moment, encouraging and supporting me both physically and mentally. I am truly blessed with a wonderful husband!

Little Eben has been such a joy to us over the short time we have had him in our home. He is a very serious little chap...still haven't seen him smile except by accident in his sleep! ;)

Here are a few pictures for you! :)

And here is one from his 1-month pics a few days ago.

We are quite in love with our little peanut! :) So thankful for a safe delivery and a sweet healthy son!
Mykaela

Fear Not

Hello, everyone!

I hope all of you are staying safe and healthy these days, and perhaps even enjoying some extra time with family. :)

I am 36 weeks along now, and feeling very big and very pregnant and very ready for this little guy to make his appearance soon. ;) I'm at the point now where I don't have much energy or ability to get things done, (at least not quickly!), so the days are dragging a bit. I'm anticipating the "dragginess" getting much worse in the coming days as our area implements more restrictions/quarantines! Oh, well...this will be an interesting time to look back on, right? ;) 

The year my husband was born was one of the worst flood years Missouri has ever seen, so lots of people remember that in association with the time around when he was born. I suppose in ten years or so I'll be telling "E" (baby's full name is classified until he's born) about how "When mommy was pregnant with you, there was ALL this craziness...!!" Haha! 

In all seriousness, it is a sobering wake up call to realize how fragile our economic system really is, how foolishly unprepared our generation is for any kind of actual crisis, and to catch a glimpse of where we would certainly be without the merciful hand of God on our nation.

Over the last few months, long before any of this virus chaos started showing up, God has been having to teach me over and over about fear. So often I fail and allow fear to influence decisions...sometimes I'll even catch myself doing it unconsciously, which is sad, because that means I've allowed it to become habit in some ways. :( I have really been working on this area, and praying that my faith would be increased. I wanted to share this poem with you all, in hopes that it will be an encouragement to you. It's not perfectly written, but expresses some of the thoughts I've been dealing with throughout this pregnancy journey. I hope it is a blessing!

Fear Not

"Fear not," Jesus tells me, His voice strong and clear.

"But Lord, I'm so anxious, there's so much to fear! How can I fret not when my world falls apart?

How can I have joy and sweet peace in my heart?"

"Fear not," Jesus tells me, "Be careful for naught!

You are safe in my arms, for your soul I have bought.

All this worry is sinful, your faith is so weak--

Child, only in me is the rest that you seek."

My thoughts wage a battle, my heart squeezes tight.

Faith and fear soon collide in a desperate fight.

Many voices are clamoring,

Some good, and some not--

My soul becomes weary in this battle of thought.

In all of this chaos and worry and stress,

I hear a sweet voice calling "Come, and be blessed!"

"Fear not," Jesus whispers, "Cast your cares upon me!

From your dread and anxiety come and be free.

You cannot control all the trials of life,

But you CAN choose to trust me in storms and in strife."

So I turn to my Saviour and seek His sweet face,

Knowing even in hardship He promises grace.

And though I don't know what tomorrow may hold,

I can choose to fear not, knowing He's in control.

Mykaela

I Will Give You Rest

Happy New Year, everyone!
Isn't it crazy that it's 2020 already? Somehow that number sounds so futuristic. ;) I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season with family and friends! We had many different celebrations around Christmas time--since both Luke's family and mine live nearby now, it makes for a jam-packed schedule of spending time at different homes around the holidays. It was a ton of fun, though, and we are so thankful to have like minded family that we can fellowship freely with and not have to worry about angry dinner conversations or difficult choices on what to refuse participation in politely. I definitely don't take that for granted, because I know so many have to face things like that around the holidays!

Baby boy Orwig is doing very well, and likes to make his presence very known these days with lots and lots and LOTS of movement!! ;) He is such a crazy active little fellow...most especially at night when this Mama is trying to get some sleep. Ha! I'm 26 weeks along, so the third trimester is coming right up. In many ways it feels like this pregnancy is going very quickly, but other times (like when I am trying to get things done and feel like a three ton walrus) it seems like a very long time till he gets here. ;P I know the time will come before we know it, though!

This post is one that I've actually been wanting to write since before Christmas, but I keep putting it off because I keep studying more about the topic, and finding new verses that I love and want to include, and well...just don't be surprised if there happens to be a Part 2 to this post at some point in the future! :)

One of the biggest things God has been working on me about lately is the idea of rest. Both physical and spiritual. Physically, rest has become absolutely vital to me over the last few months, as some small difficulties with pregnancy have made it extremely hard for me to be the go-getter that I typically am/want to be. And quite honestly, as my body grows and changes with every day that goes by, physical rest is becoming even MORE important! :) Much more vital than physical rest, however, is spiritual rest. 

To be honest, I have failed at both types of rest quite often lately. Out of frustration with current physical limitations, I push myself too hard and wind up knocked over and hurting a lot more than is necessary. In a spirit of faithlessness, I refuse to trust God and His promises to me and become fretful and worried, living in doubt and fear and stressing out for no reason.

I've never really done the whole "Word of the Year" thing before...I know many friends who have really enjoyed it, but I had just never actually chosen ONE concept to focus on throughout the year. But at the beginning of this year, I realized that God had been speaking to me about this SO much, it was almost a given: my word of the year for 2020 is "Rest". 

This has been a lot of intro, I know, but I wanted to give some background into my study and how much it means to me before I just launched in. :) Here are a few things I have written down in my study journal over the last couple months. (Alliterated because I'm Baptist and that's just what we do, haha!! ;P)

1. The Preparation for Rest
"And he said unto them, This is that which the LORD hath said, To morrow is the rest of the holy sabbath unto the LORD: bake that which ye will bake to day, and seethe that ye will seethe; and that which remaineth over lay up for you to be kept until the morning." Exodus 16:23

God Himself instituted the practice of resting (specifically on the Sabbath) when He created the world in six days and rested on the seventh. Later, He set up this principle for His people to follow. However, God didn't expect or require them to simply drop everything and rest with no preparation or provision for the rest period. They were to make ready in order to be purposefully still and not work. However, this did NOT mean that all tasks were perfectly complete and nothing was left undone before they rested. They made specific preparations for the Sabbath, and when the day came, they rested. Whatever was left undone could simply wait until the next day. In our goal-oriented and perfectionist society today, we sometimes have a hard time resting while there are still tasks to be done. However, there will always be something to do, something to fill our time with. The decision lies with us to let some of that go and CHOOSE to purposefully rest.

2. The Purpose of Rest
Six days thou shalt do thy work, and on the seventh day thou shalt rest: that thine ox and thine ass may rest, and the son of thy handmaid, and the stranger, may be refreshed. Exodus 23:12

God's plan for rest is that His children will be refreshed and uplifted. His thoughts toward us are of good, not evil, and His commandments to us are not grievous (burdensome or harsh). Rest is a "good and perfect gift" (James 1:17) from the hand of God, meant to bless, not harm. In 1 Chronicles 22:9 and 2 Chronicles 14:6, The Bible speaks of God giving someone rest as a gift or a blessing. When viewed correctly, rest is a valuable resource and should be treated as such.

3. The Placement of Rest
"And Asa cried unto the LORD his God, and said, LORD, it is nothing with thee to help, whether with many, or with them that have no power: help us, O LORD our God; for we rest on thee, and in thy name we go against this multitude. O LORD, thou art our God; let not man prevail against thee." 2 Chronicles 14:11

If you are familiar with this story, you'll know that Asa was facing terrible, overwhelming circumstances. As in, going up against a million man army with only half that many on his own side. And yet, in the midst of even that circumstance, he was able to find a place of rest in God.

You may have heard the statement made about joy that it is found in God and does not depend on surroundings or circumstances the way happiness can. Well, from God's Word, it seems to me that rest too can be found even in the middle of chaos, heartbreak, or trial...IF it is a rest based firmly upon God and His promises. It is a CHOICE, not a feeling or an emotion. True rest comes from seeking after God fervently and choosing to trust His Word. 

As I studied this out, it struck me how many things in our Christian lives are like this. Love? It's a choice and an action...though those warm feelings are sometimes there as well, they are a result of the good choices we make, not the other way around. Joy? Same thing. It's a decision we make to not allow our circumstances to dictate our attitude. It's finding our stability in God. Here's a verse that I found during this study that I thought was SO precious:

"And all Judah rejoiced at the oath: for they had sworn with all their heart, and sought him with their whole desire; and he was found of them: and the LORD gave them rest round about."

2 Chronicles 15:15

4. The Price of our Rest

"And in that day there shall be a root of Jesse, which shall stand for an ensign of the people; to it shall the Gentiles seek: and his rest shall be glorious." Isaiah 11:10

The ultimate place of rest is in heaven, in the very presence of God. This rest cannot be obtained without accepting the price that Jesus Christ paid for our redemption--His own blood. Not only can we not reach heaven without Christ, but even here on this earth we will never find true rest outside of a relationship with him. The world talks a lot about finding inner peace and tranquility, and yet their version of those things are shallow and transient at best if they are not based upon The One who is the true Prince of Peace.

5. The Procurement of Rest

"Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass." Psalm 37:7

This point is similar to No. 3, but I couldn't figure out how to split these thoughts up exactly how I wanted, so two points it is. ;) Like many exercises of faith in our lives, the obtainment of God's rest takes commitment and a daily series of rest-producing choices. This verse in Psalm 37 speaks of waiting patiently for God (choice) and NOT fretting (yet again, a choice). I looked up the dictionary definition of "fret" and thought it was interesting:

Fret: (1) Be constantly or visibly worried or anxious. 

(2) To gradually wear away by rubbing or gnawing.

Fretting both violates a clear command of Scripture (Be careful for nothing...Phillipians 4:6), but also wears away and gnaws at my strength, joy, and hope in God.

I feel like so many times we SAY we want God's rest and peace, and yet the moment by moment choices we make contradict that desire completely. (And I'm as guilty of this as anyone.) One of the biggest things I've noticed in myself is that I hardly ever give myself a CHANCE to actually rest and be still! Every free or quiet moment is squelched by me trying to fill my time up constantly, many times with useless things like scrolling my phone for the twentieth time that day or doing some other frivolous activity instead of taking a moment to just be still. 

Sometimes all it takes to find that rest we crave is to remind ourselves of the goodness and bounty of God.  "Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the LORD hath dealt bountifully with thee. For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling." Psalm 116:7-8

Other times, rest can only come through chastisement and repentance/restoration. (As in the case of unrest being due to our own sin or disobedience). "Blessed is the man whom thou chastenest, O LORD, and teachest him out of thy law; That thou mayest give him rest from the days of adversity, until the pit be digged for the wicked. For the LORD will not cast off his people, neither will he forsake his inheritance." Psalm 94:12-14

I realize this post may seem a little incoherent, but like I said, I have just kept discovering more and more things in God's Word about rest and being still, and it's been really hard to narrow it down enough for a blog post. ;) Let me wrap up with a few more verses I found that I think sum up all these ideas quite well.

"Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls." Jeremiah 6:16a

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

"I have set the LORD always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope." Psalm 16:8-9

 "For thus saith the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength:" Isaiah 30:15a

This year, I want to choose to rest in The Lord, no matter the circumstance or situation that I face. How about you?

Mykaela

Four Things Marriage Has Taught Me About My Relationship With Christ

Hello, All!
Today's post is one that I've actually been considering for some time, but haven't been able to get my thoughts collected clearly enough to write a blog post about it. (Not that this is going to be miraculously coherent now that I'm actually writing it, mind you--I'm not sure I'm capable of such a thing. ;) Still, I shall do my best. 

As most of you are aware, Luke and I have been married for just over a year now, and I can honestly say that I am incredibly blessed to have him for my husband, life partner, and best friend. Marriage has been so different in many ways than I imagined it...different as in FAR better than I ever thought! I'm not saying we've had a perfect marriage with zero problems or difficulties, but I can say that these have been few and far between; mostly because he is so good about patiently dealing with issues when they come along, and putting up with me and my flaws incredibly well. ;)

Over this very new season of life, God has used marriage to teach me some valuable lessons that I believe can apply to anyone, married or not. I hope that these things will be a blessing to those who read it, no matter what stage of life you are currently in! :) Without further ado, here are four things God has been teaching me through our marriage thus far.

1. The importance of serving God with the right motives.
One thing that has struck me lately is the fact that motives do matter. If you are doing the right thing for the wrong reasons or with the wrong attitude, then how much good are you really doing? In 1 Corinthians 13, it talks about all the "good works" that you can do that become nothing without the motive being that of charity. 

Applying this with marriage...I have realized clearly that when I serve my husband out of the deep love and respect that I hold for him both as a man, and as the man in specific that God has placed in my life to lead and protect me, it is so much more fulfilling and full of joy! Tasks can become a blessing and a pleasure, whereas if I'm performing them merely out of duty, they have the potential to become routine or tedious. I believe service to God is the same way--when my heart attitude towards the acts of service are not right, I can very quickly slip into the mindset of either pride ("My church should be thankful they have me") or self pity ("No one recognizes how much I do around here"). None of which is truly pleasing to God. How convicting!

2. My responsibility to invest in my communication and relationship with The Lord.
A few weeks ago this thought really hit me...if I talked to Luke as often and as long as I talked to God, how would our relationship look? Wow. To rephrase, if I were to go days or weeks hardly talking to Luke at all (as I'm ashamed to say I've done with The Lord--short, unfocused prayer times, etc.) we would probably have a really terrible marriage. I know everyone talks about the importance of communication in marriage, so much so that it sounds cliche, but it's really incredibly true. The minute our loving and focused communication starts slipping, our closeness begins to suffer. The sad thing to me is that in the area of my relationship with God, a communication breach is always MY FAULT. Not His. Ever, in any way. God has given me His Word, and promised to speak to me through it. I have everything I need, and yet I fail Him and hinder a close, loving relationship by MY lack of communication. It would be as if Luke came home from work with loving words and arms open wide for me, and I turned my back and ignored him. I wouldn't dream of doing that to my sweet husband...yet how often do I neglect to draw near to my Lord because I "don't have the time"? 

3. How seriously I need to take sin.
When I hurt Luke, even in a small or seemingly insignificant way, it breaks my heart. I can't be content or happy until I have asked and received his forgiveness, and I know that things are reconciled between us. The feeling that I have caused a rift between us is something that I can hardly stand.

And yet, so often I tend to take a light view of "little" sins or offenses against God. I've really been convicted about this lately, because obviously I should be much more zealous about keeping a "clean slate" with God than I am even with my husband!

4. How much God loves me.
My husband loves me with such a selfless and unconditional love. He shows it every day through his words and actions--there has never been a time when I doubted that he loved me dearly. God has used Luke's love in my life to prove to me how much He Himself loves me. As much as I love and respect my husband, he is a sinner, as am I. And yet, if the love and care of a mere flawed human being can be so sweet and fulfilling to me, how much more the love of a perfect and unchanging God? To take this thought a step further...Luke has seen me at my worst and chosen to love me still. But though he knows me better than any other human on earth, even he cannot see my heart and the sin and folly it contains. God can, and His love for me is still perfect. That is amazing to think about! God knows all my deepest thoughts and imperfections, and keeps on loving me in spite of them. 

I hope that these thoughts were a blessing to you, whether you are in a relationship or not. They have been coming back to me over and over during the last few months, so I figured it was about time I tried to verbalize them. :) 

I'm sure once baby comes, I will have a whole new world of things God will want to teach me through that! For those wondering, the pregnancy is going well, and baby seems to be progressing as well as possible! :) I'll be 18 weeks on Tuesday, which means we will be able to find out the gender of our little one in about 2-3 weeks, depending on when I can get the scan before or after Thanksgiving. I'll be sharing on here once we find out!

Have a wonderful week! 
Mykaela

Wedding Pictures!

Hello, all!
It's been a bit of an adjustment for me, trying to remember to post on the blog, as it's been so long since it's been a regular habit! ;) My apologies on that. 

Since we just celebrated our 1 year anniversary on October 12, I decided to do a post with some of our wedding pictures. (Thank you for the suggestion, Grace! :) If you aren't a fan of wedding photos, no offense taken if you simply pass by this post. ;) Especially since I had a very hard time picking my favorites, and probably posted more than necessary. Oops. Oh well, I had fun reminiscing while I did it!!

We had my cousin, Kailyn, do our wedding pictures for us. She is from California and has a photography and videography business that she runs jointly with her fiance, Eric. She was gracious enough to come up to Washington for our wedding, and I honestly could NOT have been more thrilled with our wedding photos!! I'll let the pictures speak for themselves in a minute, but WOW...Luke and I were blown away with what a lovely job she did!

I'll go in sections throughout the wedding day, so it's easy to see how things flowed. The first thing that happened was that the groomsmen got ready at our church building and had their pictures taken, and then my girls and I showed up to trade places with them and start getting ready ourselves. Before the guys left, however, Luke and I did something very special that I am SO glad we did! Kailyn took me out behind the building to a little alcove and had me wait there while she went and got Luke. Then, so as not to have him see me, we held hands around the corner and prayed together. It was about 3 hours before our wedding, and this was our first time ever holding hands, so it was a really special moment!

Some handsome groom and groomsmen photos...

And some photos from our prayer together, as well as a moment of incredibly overwhelming joy for me...after Luke walked around the corner, I ran to catch a glimpse of him before he got in the car to go to the park where our wedding was going to be. It suddenly hit me as I looked after him that this was it. This was the day that the long wait was over, and I was marrying my best friend. :')

My heart is pounding fast again just looking at these pictures. ;) Here are some from the getting ready process with my sweet bridesmaids--all powered by Starbucks, of course. ;P

I was so blessed to have some of my dearest friends by my side to celebrate this happy day! :) Here are some from our bride/bridesmaid shoot after we were all ready for the wedding. The area around our church building really provided some pretty cool backdrops!! :D

I was thrilled to find the dark orange door, since our wedding colors were a kind of dark rusty orange and dark teal. (Though in some of the photos they look black, the bridesmaids' dressed are actually teal).

Here are a few pics of the decorations at our outdoor ceremony...I was SO thankful for absolutely beautiful weather on our wedding day!! God was so good to give us that, since we really didn't have a Plan B if it had been rainy or bad weather. 

We actually just reserved a portion of a public park (for FREE, no less!) and it worked out perfectly!! There was a nice section that was more or less closed off with trees, and any passersby were very respectful and didn't disturb us at all. It was really nice, because a lot of the "real" venues we'd been looking at were wanting to charge us up to 2 grand....as it was, we ended up spending less than that on the ENTIRE wedding total, simply by being careful, using what we had or borrowing from friends, making nearly all our own food, and letting God's creation cover most of the decorations for us. ;) I was so happy we decided to go with an outdoor ceremony, because it really fit the "feel" that I was hoping for perfectly. :) 

Up next are some photos from the actual ceremony. We had my little brother Kebron as our ring bearer, and a little friend, Ruth, as our flower girl (though every time I call her that, she insists that "They were NOT flowers, they were LEAVES!!" ;P We had her toss real leaves of different fall colors instead of petals). Luke and I sang together, and opted for the threefold cord for our unity ceremony. 

We took a very non traditional approach to our first kiss, (which to this day I am SO glad we did!!!!!!). After the preacher pronounced us husband and wife, and introduced us as the new couple, Luke picked me up and carried me off down the aisle! :D We went across a small stream to a secluded area by the riverbank, and shared our first kiss in private with just the two of us. (We didn't even have our photographer there for this, we just wanted to have our first few moments as a married couple to ourselves. :) While this may not be for everyone, I personally didn't really like the idea of sharing that special first kiss in front of 150 people...even people I knew and loved! It just made it that much more memorable to have it be just the two of us. Besides, it's not like they missed anything--we kissed plenty more times at the reception! ;P

Our reception was tons of fun, and we shared so many sweet memories with our friends and loved ones who were able to join us. One of my favorite moments was the bouquet toss...and I LOVE the pictures Kailyn got of that!! :D

The goodbyes at the end of the reception were kind of a blur for me, honestly...it was very surreal to be actually taking leave of my family there at our wedding! (Our honeymoon was on our way back to Missouri where my new home would be). 

Ok, this post is getting way too long, but I have to add a few of my favorite pictures from our sunset couple photos in Leavenworth, WA. Leavenworth has some very dear memories for us from all throughout our relationship, so it was super special to be able to take our couple pictures there!! The scenery is so stunning, and by this time the lighting was absolutely perfect. This photo session was actually one of my very favorite memories from our wedding day. Kailyn did such a great job making us feel comfortable and letting the photos be real. 

That last picture series with the lamppost is SO special to me. :') My best friend Kimberly and I had taken pictures by that lamp back in 2016 when she came to visit me in person for the first time. Then when Luke and I were courting, we took a photo by the same lamppost...and then on our wedding day, we got those sweet shots. And my heart melts every time. ;) 

I know this was rather a lot of pictures, and I apologize...like I said, I will not be offended in the least if you happen to have just skimmed through, or just skipped this post altogether! I know a couple of my followers are planning weddings of their own in the semi-near future, so if there are any questions about anything, just let me know in the comments! :)  I found it super helpful when I was wedding planning to talk to gals that had recently been through the joys of doing it themselves, and get their tips and ideas. 

I hope anyone that's still with me at this point is having a great week, and that it will just keep getting better from here! :) Happy Fall!
Love,
Mykaela